There are tons of potential reasons that your wetsuit does not fit, but the main culprit is most probably the holidays.
We’ve all been there after the holiday season. After indulging in lush meals and delicious chocolate, all watered down with the finest wines, it can be hard to fit into those pre-holidays clothes. We don’t want to alarm you, but go on and try your wetsuit. Is it hard to zip it up? Is it hard just to get one leg in? Do you have to breathe in to be able to close it? Until the post-holidays diet solve this, we have created an array of excuses for you.
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It’s the dryer
This is a tried and tested old excuse. But though dryers do shrink clothes, you should NEVER, EVER put your wetsuit into a dryer. We repeat NEVER, EVER. Dryers are too hot and will damage the neoprene. You can watch this video to find out how to look after your wetsuit properly.
I decided to put on some weight to keep me warmer while diving
The extra kilos will provide additional insulation. It’s science. Layers of fat keep you warmer and this simply cannot be argued with.
I wear a spare tire for extra buoyancy
Science comes into play again. It’s very easy to sink down a little too fast for your own liking when you’re diving. Sure, you could drop a weight or two, but why change your routine? That few extra pounds will keep you safely off the bottom after the holidays.
It’s not just my wetsuit; ALL of my clothes have shrunk.
Technology is not always your friend. The wrong setting on the washing machine and lo, nothing seems to fit anymore. It’s unfortunate, but these things happen. If anyone happens to mention the difficulty you’re having zipping up your suit, this is when you can pull this beauty out.
It fits…in places.
The sleeves fit, maybe the lower legs? Maybe your recent gym visits or the 8 minute abs routine you’ve picked up since the new year are the issue. Sounds plausible for why your wetsuit does not fit…everywhere.
My wife is pregnant and the doctor says weight gain is normal.
About half of all expectant dads gain weight—up to 30 pounds—during their partners’ pregnancies. And that isn’t all. A dad-to-be can expect to be slammed by at least one other pregnancy symptom, like nausea, fatigue, food cravings, odor aversions, mood swings, sleep problems, or bouts of bloat.
So yes you can use this excuse. Science to the rescue again!! Just make sure your wife is actually pregnant!
It’s not that my wetsuit does not fit, you just haven’t been pulling hard enough on the zipper.
Maybe your dive buddy is losing the strength in their hands or arms? This isn’t your fault, it’s clearly theirs. Plausibility can be added using sentences like “…well Barbara never had a problem zipping me up!”. So just breathe in and zip it up…hopefully.
My winter fitness regimen of rigorously watching “Baywatch” did not go as effective as planned.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. We recommend saving this one in case all else fails.
David Hasselhoff as the character Mitch Buchannon – credit USA Today Logo of Baywatch Pamela Anderson as C. J. Parker. – credit: Outside the Beltway
Darn, looks like I grabbed the wife’s suit again.
It’s amazing how much you puff up from a jellyfish sting.
This seems like a good excuse to use for why your wetsuit does not fit. BUT, if you get stung by a jellyfish, it’s very unlikely you will puff up. Unless you are allergic of course. That said, depending on the type of jellyfish and how much of the skin touches the venom, the sting can cause pain or other serious health problems. Some jellyfish stings can be life-threatening. It is important to get medical help if you have severe symptoms after a jellyfish sting.
You can treat mild jellyfish stings with the following steps:
- If you are stung at the beach or in the ocean, pour sea water onto the part of your body that was stung. Do not use fresh water.
- Use tweezers to remove any tentacles you see in your skin.
- Next, apply vinegar or rubbing alcohol to the affected area to stop the burning feeling and the release of the toxin.
- After you have poured vinegar on the site, apply shaving cream or a mixture of baking soda and sea water. When this is dry, scrape the mixture off with a credit card.
- To help reduce the pain, apply calamine lotion or hydrocortisone cream. You can also use an ice pack or hot water to help with the pain and swelling.
Your doctor may treat more serious jellyfish stings with medications to relieve pain, neutralize the venom’s effects (antivenin) and reduce the itching and rash (antihistamine).
To help you lose these extra pounds, why not join us on one of our liveaboards? We have wetsuits available on rental. This is only while your wetsuit does not fit of course. Contact us.